Episodes

My dearest friend just decided to end an episode in her life; careful consideration, painful decision, doubtful reflection were all parts of that end.

It's scary when I think of life as a series of interdependent episodes--what if I don't want the good ones to ever, ever end? But I know it will. Something else will come along: better or worse, nobody could tell for sure. No matter how much one prepares for the future, there's only so much that one can anticipate. Like a great author, God loves to make plot twists that are sometimes so extreme they're sickening. I'm terrified even at the thought of it. The past episodes, how they started and why they eventually ended, made sense only after quite some time into the subsequent episode.

I'm sure it takes a steel solid courage to actually end an episode (before it helplessly ends itself). It's almost like putting your dearest pet dog to sleep. You know it's in pain, you know you can't afford its medications any further (or more like, no medication can help it), so you have to do this. Why not let it die slowly? Because it'll be painful. Look into its eyes and you'll know that it already accepted its end long before you do.

I guess it also takes someone special to actually man up about the reason why an episode must come to an end. There are countless cliche lines that one can thoughtlessly fall back to, but to rationally (and thoughtfully) explain the reason for an end, needs incredible strength of the heart. I hope the person at the other end can accept that he had to leave that episode behind him. I hope he moves on well--perhaps not quickly, but well.

I feel so sorry for my friend, and I feel bad that I can't really be there for her in person. She deserves the biggest hug in the world for that honesty and courage. So here's her favourite song, which somehow feels apt.




You only miss the sun when it starts to snow.