This is probably nothing new, but if you do find me staring into the space recently, please know that I'm not mad. I just have a lot on my mind right now. Things I want to do but I can't; things I want to have but I don't; things I wish are true but aren't; questions I ask but remain unanswered.
By the way, I won't say I don't give a damn, but I do get used to being misunderstood. It's not working to my advantage, I know. I do try to smile more, as advised by many. Some say it's still not enough, but any wider or more frequent smile will only make things worse. I don't want to smile that much when I don't feel like it; it's just too fake even for myself. I have been accused of being fake before, thanks to my CCA, and I don't quite like it.
In short, I just have a lot going on in my mind right now. Please, please, talk to me and calm me down.
I am nothing without you.
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