growing up

I think I'm at the point where I just want to disown some parts of my old, weaker self. That includes parts of me that believe in fairytale ending and idealised views on life, that are still naïve and trusting; parts of me that can easily feel.

Maybe it's part and parcel of growing up and all, but it's somewhat hypocritical, what I'm doing now. I tried so hard to be cynical that it's a second nature now, yet at the same time, I don't even know if it's of any good other than to protect myself.

You can say that how I don't matter to someone who actually matters plays quite a significant role in all this new state of mind. Yes I know it's stupid, considering the abundant amount of love and support I get from those who matter even more. But growing up couldn't hurt that much, could it?

I don't want this moment to ever end, where everything's nothing without you.