Last Class

So yesterday was my last class in this university, and I had a very odd mix of feelings about that. You see, unlike most people I know, feeling "nostalgic" and "sad" are the least accurate description of how I felt.

I felt relieved.

I haven't really enjoyed my days in this university. It was a humbling crushing experience.

I'm not sure if it applies elsewhere, but my faculty believes in destroying the students' confidence, except for the select few. If you see an average quiz score of 50%, that is not because majority scored 40-60%; that is because some got 98%, and some got 32% (and it somehow evens out on the aggregate, you see). I got above 85% practicing Professional Certification exams, and an F for my university's final examination. Seeing the letter "F" for a final exam component somehow is the norm; because it is meant to be failed by most people. But don't worry, after they sieved out the A+'s and A's, they will allocate the remaining "peasants" to anything from A- to F for the final grade.

All in the name of raising standards.

Is it even healthy?

Well, I'm definitely one of the peasants. And I'm getting sick of being told I'm mediocre and inadequate, no matter how hard I work. Because a peasant don't have stars aligned for him/her, you see.

I think I would've done a lot better had I chosen to study another discipline. But what's the point of talking about it, anyway?

Fuck talents. Fuck school. Fuck getting a Fail grade just because they love making papers impossibly "challenging".

I was miserable, but I will not be that way forever.

And hopefully, the end of formal classes in this place marks the onset of something wonderful.