negativity :(

Hi there, I promise I won't ramble about heart matters, because no matter how much I ramble about it, things will not get any better. I promise myself I will not start the negativity ripple among my friends, but sometimes I just don't know how to handle it. I know I should be grateful, and I am, really. I am grateful for my family and the privilege of studying overseas. I am not upset over things other people have and I don't, that'll be the last one on my list by the way. I don't know why I'm filled with so much negativity, and I am very sorry if you find me repulsive for that. I guess I'm ruled out to die alone in an island if this goes on, but I'm trying to be less of a negative. I really do. I'm sorry if I seem to exude negativity just by my presence, I know I can help it but it just slips out of me. I'm sorry.