not-so-happy New Year entry.

Let me tell you what I know about New Years. Every 31st Dec, I'll always try to convince myself that everything bad's gonna be well past me and that the next year's gonna be better. Optimistic huh. But guess what, I guess I just crossed the fine line between optimism and ignorance. I'm not going to deny, today, that 2010's not gonna be easy. It may well be more challenging than 2009 and the previous years. I just hope that I've got enough courage and strength to go through it all. Hope I'll live up to life's expectations. One thing I still believe in, He will not test me beyond my capabilities.

Oh, I can't help thinking about the past Countdowns too. I'm not so much of a countdown person, actually. I don't see the point in fussing over the 5 second while all that matters is the next 365 days.Nevertheless, I'm lucky enough that those countdowns were spent smiling. Either smiling or sleeping, that is.

I'd like to talk about confidence too. I wrote before that a healthy self-esteem would be my 2010 resolution. I told that to my Dad. He was like, "you're damn confident already what" kinda thing. haha. Well, I can't help thinking that people who OPENLY display their insecurities are either
1. seeking for help, or
2. seeking for attention.
Unfortunately, the latter is more commonly found. Lack of confidence can be manifested in so many ways it's almost impractical to list them down, I guess. Mine's not to the extent that I'd starve myself to skin and bones. Mine's more like... I hate looking into the mirror. Needless to say more about that.

Such a sombre entry on a 2nd Jan huh? Sorry, just thought that I'd share the emo-ness.

I love my family and friends more than anything, much more than I love myself. It's easier for me to do so because I don't find myself as lovable as those around me :)